Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Common Mother and Breast Envy

I read this article today and am dumbfounded by the authors projecting of her mother guilt onto breastfeeding women and supporters and her breast envy.
Here is my response to the article.

I am not some holier than thou Madonna mother goddess simply because I breastfeed.
I don’t have some rare talent; some heavenly gift bestowed upon me.
I am in fact quite common in the grand scheme of things.
Through out the history of humanity women who bore children fed those children with their breasts.
Simply put we are designed to breastfeed.
I am doing what women generations before me have done and doing what I as a mother am designed to do.
I am providing the milk that is produced by my body, for my child who was born to receive it.
What is so hard to grasp about that?
Why is that so damning?
I am tired of women making excuses and blaming me for their maternal guilt simply because I am a common mother.
So what it’s not easy?
It passes.
Pregnancy wasn’t easy.
I puked the whole way though, had aches and pains, and in the end achieved a desired result.
It passes
Same with breastfeeding, I had a baby with this teeny mouth who couldn’t latch on right away like a pro and I suffered blisters and bleeding.
It felt like razor blades where splicing my nipples every time she latched on.
She was latching on around the clock, like human babies are supposed to do.
I was crying, stomping my foot in pain, guess what?
It passes.
Just like pregnancy.
Now 20 months later she is nursing like a champ.
We, my nursling and I, are common in the grand scheme of things even though we are a dinosaur breed of people on the brink of extinction now, at this point in time.
You would not be here if it were not for the thousand of generations of women before us that have nursed humanity at their breasts.
If you chose to formula feed then own it.
Don’t hold me or any other common breastfeeding mom accountable for your guilt.
You should ask yourself why you have this guilt in the first place.
Make peace with your decision and move on.
No one makes the perfect choice every time but every one can choose to learn from mistakes and move forward.
You can arm yourself with knowledge and make a different choice next time, if there is a next time.
A breastfeeding mother is just common.